Jackie Mason on speaking Spanish in the US

There may be those among you who support including Spanish in our
national language. I for one am 110% against this! We must preserve
the exclusivity and above all, the purity of the English language. To
all the shlemiels, shlemazels, nebbishes, nudniks, klutzes, putzes,
shlubs, shmoes, shmucks, nogoodniks, and momzers that are out there
pushing Spanish, I just want to say that I, for one, believe that
English and only English deserves linguistic prominence in our
American culture. To tell the truth, it makes me so farklempt, I'm
fit to plotz. This whole Spanish schmeer gets me broyges, specially
when I hear these erstwhile mavens and luftmenschen kvetching about
needing to learn Spanish. What chutzpah! These shmegeges can tout
their shlock about the cultural and linguistic diversity of our
country, but I, for one, am not buying their shtick. It's all so much
dreck, as far as I'm concerned. I exhort you all to be menshen about
this and stand up to their fardrayte arguments and meshugganah,
farshtunkene assertions. It wouldn't be kosher to do anything else.
Remember, when all is said and done, we have English and they've got
bubkes! The whole myseh is a pain in my tuchas!

Jackie Mason